I’m struggling between two strong forces at the moment. The force to get good sleep, save money, eat healthy, train well, get good marks etc… and the force to see my friends, party and go nuts in the knowledge that I’m not going to see these people for a whole 12 months! — but still… I CAN’T WAIT TO GO!! YEEAH!!
Updates from April, 2008
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Look! My disappearing act!
luke
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So surprise me!
luke
Recently, I’ve been seeing a couple of people really close to me break up (or consider breaking up) relationships that seem to make “so much sense” to everyone around them. They’ve been going out because the other person ticked all the boxes but have got a few months in and realised that they don’t actually feel much for the person.
Something I’ve learned recently that no matter how many things seem not to work (at first) in your head… its worth fixing your head to match that thing we like to ignore because we hardly understand it (particularly us guys)… that is your heart.
Sometimes it is just a bit smarter than your head and if left ignored too long, it certainly knows how to kick and scream!
I’m not saying that you have to be “completely, utterly in love” as hollywood would have you believe. Because coming on too quick isn’t necessarily healthy either (coming from the son of parents that got engaged after 3wks). But I’d rather be excited when I feel a small touch, get a message/note/letter, see in the distance or even think about than to have someone who makes sense!
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Judgement Time
luke
I had a great chin-wag with Renata (Woodsy’s girl) the other morning. Social awkwardness came up. Things like getting over nerves to go out and dance, host parties, speak up for your opinion, organise crews to row et cetera. I mentioned something that I’m learning and it has been helping me exponentially:
“You are fearless when you learn that people aren’t there to judge you, and if they do it’s their own fault and you just need to love them regardless of their own insecurities“
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Blah!
luke
- Conversations are challenging
- Photos make you miss people more than ever
- Essays can be interesting to research but suck to start writing
- I don’t know what I want to do with my life
- Things fire me up, though when it comes down to it I am at peace with myself — even when things don’t add up – is this wrong?
- Does peace ever just mean you’re ignorant? Apathetic?
- Be careful when you hug me, I may not let go
- I miss Joni
- I miss my man-chats with philthy
- I want the world to change but don’t know how I fit into that
- I want to be in canada
- I’m going to be in a heck load of debt – that’s kinda scary
- I don’t know what is going on with my studies, where they’re leading, how things are going to work out
- How will I afford a mortgage? A family?
- Life’s too short
- Life shouldn’t be rushed
- Blog, I’m sorry I don’t mean to offend, but you’re not great to talk to
- How do you encourage people who are hardly done by?
- I love my family
- How do you change “the establishment” (ie Uni, Rowing Australia, Government, Religion, Media etc)
- Sh*t, there’s a lot of responsibility in life… MY SISTER IS MARRIED for goodness-sake… and the happiest she’s ever been… what a huge responsibility: choosing the person you want to spend the rest of your life with!
- I love my friends
- Sleep is amazing
- I hate letting people down
- You can’t try and live up to people expectations
- So many things affect your long term health
- Are we, as a society, hypercondriacts?
- Are we ignorant? Apathetic?
- Beer is good
- So is wine
- Bullet lists are convenient
- I love the northern beaches
- Bullet lists cannot create a convincing argument
- I enjoy rowing way too much
- This is a disorganised list of my thoughts
- I love travelling
- I wonder if I’ll ever write anything worth quoting?
- I’m going to bed now…ahh
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Ahhh!!
luke
I’m rushing off to dinner but quickly:
- I’m overhearing my parents talking with my brother about relationships and it is getting me worked up because I feel like he’s not being heard and in an attempt to encourage him to do the right thing they are imposing their opinion… the thing is that it is based on the same reasoning that almost did me a lot of harm in a previous relationship of mine
- I may have an offer to go as a media student to the Olympic Games, I’m not sure how much is paid for, it sounds like a great opportunity… BUT… I really just can’t imagine putting off going to Canada any longer… I JUST WANT TO BE THERE NOW!!
- I’m absolutely pooped
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The Truth About Binge Drinking
luke
Just watching a Documentary right now: The Truth About Bringe Drinking
A couple of take aways:
- We way under count how many drinks we actually have
- How many drinks before you’re screwing your health is 14units per week for women and not much more for men
- How quickly it screws you
- Way to many people drink to get rid of inhibitions, heaps struggle to go out without drinking – what does that say about our culture?
On top of that, how much money is wasted is ridiculous.
It’s a good thing that training is so important to me, however because I have such a strong tolerance to alcohol I could easily top the max weekly limit in a night before feeling tipsy.
So, I’m referring to my pre-18y/o attitude of taking it as a challenge again, to be the one who can go out and not drink. The first thing I’m stopping is rounds!
Also refer to yesterday’s post, I’m cutting more than 2 beers or glasses of wine in a sitting just because of the kilojoule content.
I’m a fun guy! And a crazy one too
Watch this space… (and check out the article or try and get your hands on the docco)
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Next year, changes and being realistic
luke
I think I’ve decided that I’ve doing my first semester of Honours falls through then that is for good reasons.
I may be trying to do too much too fast.
Another possibility that would be fantastic would be after my undergraduate exchange, just working and traveling for a couple of months. That’d give me the chance to do things like reading a book, things that I don’t normally do when I’m in “study mode.”
I would love to do “unofficial” research on my Honours topic.
One thing I have always wanted to do that I have been holding off is teaching some blind kids to row.
There are a bunch of things that I have on my to do list that might not need to be put off for the sake of finishing my studies earlier.
I know I’m in a rush to finish my studies because I can envisage some post-graduate research. As well as wanting to be able to work so I can pay off debt and start my life.
I guess the “provider instinct” in me wants to be able to afford to make life easier for someone else, but I’ve got to accept that whenever I settle down that I’ve got to learn that I can’t always give – it’s not healthy, it’s not fair on the other person, that subconscious mentality doesn’t allow for what my significant other would be able to bring to the relationship, that mentality is selfish.
You think after my last long term relationship I would have learned that.
But I really do think I have learned heaps since those experiences. I can now bring more to the table and accept more of my short-comings as opportunities to be complimented by someone else’s strengths. This is an area that I have grown in and am trying to continue to grow in for all kinds relationships: friendships, academic, romantic, business, family, sporting et cetera.
For example with the Olympic rowing medalists or my application for Rhodes recently, I look at some of those who have made it and think “how could I ever match up to that?” then I am realising that they are all human with weaknesses and difficulties.
This is a time in my life where I am clueless and making decisions that are going to affect the rest of my life. The good news is that it is going to be exciting and I will always be clueless and making important decisions – however I am just getting more experienced at that as time goes on. And the more time that passes the more aware I am of how unequipped for things I am but also how much that doesn’t matter (I can become equipped or capitalise on those who are, let their strengths compliment where I fall short).
Also, on another note: to loose more weight I’m going to cut down on my coffee (particularly white), beer, wine and portion sizes. I don’t have the time to do extra exercise to lose weight. Especially as I seem to run my body down to the point of sickness or injury in an attempt.
Changes
- tea instead of coffee
- coffee to be primarily black
- wine: 1 glass instead of 1 bottle
- beer: less beer, particularly dark beer – blondes when I have them
- soda water: as my main refresher and mixer
- squats: build up slowly instead of injuring myself; replace with more lunges
- running: stretch more, keep it to a max of 30min
- cycling: do more, be more organised with groups
- work: less U@MQ; more ZeekDesign – be prepared to find student loans
- study: don’t rush it; slow and methodical – write what I believe or at least something original, not just what they want me to write
- eating: less snacks, smaller portions, less carbs, less treats
- relationships: accept that people can like/love me for who I am, that I’m actually worth it
- changes: make more, pretend less, be held accountable, get disappointed less = be realistic of short-comings but don’t plan to fail
Wow, that was meant to be a short comment.
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luke
Yuck… I feel horrible.
My nose could do with a tap on it, my throat could do with a some drain-o, my head would like some of these clouds to be removed.
I hate the point when your nose is raw from tissues ;(
Now this has been an encouraging post hasn’t it!
I’m a hard person to make grumpy, being sore, tired or injured doesn’t really do it because I’m so used to being both that I can maintain my cool and they don’t bother me. But being sick is the way of getting to me. I’m trying to hold my cool because I’m on a family holiday and want to make the best use of it but I’m struggling to think clearly and that’s not something I’m used to.
Ah, oh well I can’t complain, I’ve been consistently well for a while now… as far as sickness is concerned – I’ve maintained injury for 4 solid years though.
Wish me luck.
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I'm glad I have a mac
luke
Wow… I’m glad I have a mac!… hehe
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Yet another year
luke
There was some small things that made a world of difference for my birthday, and they meant so much to me it was amazing!
However, there are always a couple of factors that seem to spoil it for me year after year, without doubt.
Good thing is that next birthday, as far as I can see, those particular things will be removed from the realm of possibility.
I’m looking forward to my next birthday, I have a feeling it might be the best one to date.
