The problem with things that are “worth waiting for” is when there are a dozen of them that the “waiting” is currently in progress… mumble mumble…
Updates from March, 2008
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Waiting...
luke
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Make a difference
luke
People keep asking me what I want to do with my life… I’m studying Media and get the question, “okay, where do you want that to take you?” and I always make up some shamble answer.
To be honest the true answer to the question of “What do you want to do with your life?” is this:
I want to make a difference
I want to make a big… lasting… worthwhile… difference
I want to make a difference not so “I” can make a difference but because there are differences that need to be made and I want to work hard to see that happen
I don’t see myself in the position of devoting all my time and resources into a NPO, or aid organisation and constantly feeling like I need to give up more, yet that extra dollar only feeds one kid for one meal.
I don’t see myself in the position of devoting all my time and resources into getting really, really, ridiculously rich and donating heck-loads to charities.
I don’t see myself in the position of sacrificing heaps of my morals and ethics so I can get into a political position that actually has some power to create change.
I see myself somewhere in between. I just don’t know where. Sure, I’d get into politics or business if they weren’t so corrupt. I’d even get into NPOs if I thought it was right. But none of those three options seem right… I just have to learn what the fourth option is.
When I grow up I want to:
- Be married to a wonderful women
- Raise some amazing children, and see it work out right for each child in their own appropriate way
- Live on the northern beaches of Sydney without commuting to the city every day
- Be well traveled, networked and lived life
- Represent this great southern land at the Olympics
- and last but not least, somehow achieving the above and: “make a big… lasting… worthwhile… difference”
I’m not even going to preempt how, but I know that if I’m consistent with my character and always flexible, open-minded, determined and joyful then things will work out right (not always happy, but right).
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Contrasting feelings
luke
Don’t you hate the constant contrasting feelings that we always seem to get (well, speaking for myself that is).
Like excitement and anxiety; ideas and problems; confidence and fear; joy and pain; determined and overwhelmed — just to mention a few!
These seem to be the story of my life recently!
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Well worth watching
luke
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The rentals
luke
Mmm… It’s a real bummer when your parental units are mostly right about things that you don’t want them to be right about. Particularly when it just problematises situations more than they already are.
The flip side is that they often understand you and have “been there, done that” more than you realise. And the flip side of that is that it also makes it hard to make your own mistakes!
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Beliefs
luke
Reading a Postmodernist book on Easter Sunday…mmm…Recently I’ve had so many conversations about ethics, religion, morals, spirituality, parenting, education, relationships, politics, lifestyle etc… I know I believe stuff but I sure don’t think I could vocalise it at the moment (well, couldn’t be bothered trying).Ah, the crisis!
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The difficult process
luke
After being convicted about not only having too high (and not yet matured) expectations of myself but also putting on a front for everyone. I have taken the first step in a very difficult, painful but essentially freeing process… the first step was writing a card to my wonderful parents, letting them in on one piece of information about me… there is much more to come, I’m really trying to be deeply honest and open with people who love me, it is not easy though… there is so much that we guard away from the eyes of others (well, speaking for myself).
Lesson Learned: Vulnerability and Confrontation (both difficult, painful, necessary and helpful – both require maturity and become more natural with training).
Wow.
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Back from our nation's capital
luke
Well, I’m up late, way past my thinking expirey trying to conquer parts of the long list of things that I have to get done. My brain has stopped working and I don’t think I’m going to be able to get to sleep yet, even if I have to wake up at 5:30am.
So, I guess I owe you an explanation as to what I’ve been doing.
Well, the Canberra trip was a lot of fun… some BIG nights which kinda knocked me around being up to the wee hours of the morning and backing up for a long day, several days in a row.
It was all worth it though… however, now I have more great people which I feel compelled to keep up with :/ (ahh, how the facebook friend list grows just to scare you by how many people you don’t see regularly).
Things on my (abridged) todo list: tonnes of client work, heaps of U@MQ work, change my income at U@MQ to contract, stagger my income and sort out youth allowance, get subjects approved for exchange, get my honours proposal and pre-approval from Macquarie and SFU, prepare and present two presentations, meet with Rhodes scholarship representative, meet with International Internship liason, apply for International Youth Leadership Conference, send out sponsorship letters (for IYLC and Henley), organise accommodation/boat hire/airfares/insurance/fundraising/website/cocktail ball/advertising for Henley, write to the Australian Sports Commission/Rowing Australia/Australian Olympic Committee for support (funding and/or contacts) for my thesis, finalise my flight details, complete (aka “start”) my internship portfolio, complete my Mentors @ Macquarie sessions, attend 10 x 3hour GLP colloquia, attend 2 x 4hr GLP distinguished speaker events, process exchange & GLP paperwork etc…
Wow, now that it’s down in writing I see how over committed I am, that doesn’t even include training for Henley, working 2 days a week and doing 15cp at uni (full-time is 12cp). Yikes!
At the same time I am missing having anyone who I am sharing the ins and outs of my life with, mentor/soulmate what ever you want to call someone who you are bare-bone honest with, sharing the nitty gritty details.
Also since I’m such a physical person, I’m missing all the hugs, kisses & snuggling etc that normally comes with a romantic relationship. I hug my guy friends so much that one said I must be sexually frustrated!
On a different tone, I’m doing considerably well considering all the above. I’m reasonably keeping my mental health. Although Canberra put me several steps back as far as getting things done, it certainly put me on top of things mentally by giving me a chance to chill, meet new people, hit the dance floor, enjoy my drink without worrying about driving, lay on the grass without doing any uni readings etc…
I’m really excited about all the things I have planned but I somehow need to get on top of it all. Wish me luck
I actually think that I’m going to have to seriously cut back my hours at U@MQ and focus any time that I’m working on contract work.
Well, HAPPY ST PATRICK’s DAY!
I hope you had a Guiness, I did
P.S. I can’t wait to get over to Canada!!! This is all so worth while in the end…
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A former farming area just out of Yass
luke
Well, my time in Canberra is drawing to an end. 24 hours till I’m heading back to our nations true capital city.
Its been a lot of fun-more of a tour of canberra than a Gloal Leadership Synopsis though.But its been a tonne of fun-the people are great, we’ve made it a ball for ourselves
I think I was one of the few people not hung over this morning though, its been a wild few days with one evening left…St Patricks Day (moved this year to March 15.
Anyway, there’s a lot going on with life at the moment & i hope to provide updates when i get home
Now off to the National Art Gallery!
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I'm sorry
luke
… there, I said it.
