Well, this evening I went along to the local cycling club’s training session and had a good bash out. Certainly held my own! Was sent off in the B group throughout the evening and during the race at the end I was catching the A group on the last lap when my breaks locked up (almost crashed! yikes!!).
Was good to have a break from swimming today!
Ahh, getting there one step at a time aye..!
This post from Saturday disappeared due to my new template (i.e. I forgot to put in >=2 as opposed to >2).
What do I want right this moment?
Mmm…is a teleportation device a option?
How about a really well paying, flexible job – oh and all the knowledge and paperwork that I’ll have at the end of my studies… can I have that now please?
Didn’t think so.
I could just as much wish for a happy wife and kids, to be living in a beach house somewhere in the northern beaches with regular overseas trips and family living close by… but that would be materialistic
…and I know I would miss out on the chase that makes it all worth while.
Still… would be nice to have that teleportation device… it would make me really happy right now, even if I didn’t have long before I had to come back. I would smile at the sight of a different world, seeing it with my own eyes, feeling, hearing and smelling it.
Pretty please..?
Cherry on top?
Meh, my ramblings… one day I’ll look back at all this and be able to remember exactly the frame of mind I was in whenever I wrote each one of these posts.
What’s the best part about having monday off?
…Not having to shave! Today, on my third morning of not shaving I have beautiful skin, no acne-like-looking-rash that I get from shaving every day!
Yay! If only I didn’t look like a gimp with a beard…
Well, Australia Day was yesterday (lest we all somehow forget – you know, if you didn’t have a dozen BBQ’s and a big night out, you at least would know from the fact we’re not going into work tomorrow and all the cop’s around handing out fines 
)!
I had a couple of BBQ’s to go to and in the end I decided to host my own with a relatively small group of friends I haven’t seen in ages.
Considering there were a decent portion of people driving/not drinking and only a small group of us, I have managed to fill our recycling bin!!
Had a great chat with the two Pete’s at the end of the night (walking through the deserted streets of quiet Terrey Hills ). I miss chatting with the boys. As per usual for the end of the night, the conversation headed towards our respective female counterparts (past, present, potential and variations of the three). Was good to have one of those downright honest conversations with people who you trust so much and know are not making any judgement of you – supporting you all the way, but still helping you do what is best.
It was great to see people that I haven’t seen for ages!
Catering for people still always takes a toll on the pocket – ouch – especially when saving to go overseas… I should get better at asking people for money if I’m always playing host (or caterer from my own credit card/savings at least) .
I’m going to head to the pool (do some laps in budgie smugglers) and then read my book for a while.
Actually… I am going to need to do some stretching and sit with heat/ice packs for a while because my back has started to hurt again.
Twas a bloody long day in the office on friday. My back was starting to get sore again so when I arrived at 5:45am I decided not to do laps in the pool so I just started work right there and then. Turned out to be a hectic day with heaps of deadlines (graduation is coming up and the website wasn’t working – the developers wouldn’t let me get my hands dirty to try and fix it either!!) before the long weekend. I ended up being kicked out of the office at 5:15pm – after 11.5 hours of work!
I’m not going to become a workaholic, its okay.
Anyways, that pool and book are calling for me – actually I think I’ll do the beach instead. Might need to shower & wash my chlorine/salty hair first before going to Pip’s BBQ.
UPDATE: Pip’s new boyfriend was the only other guy at the BBQ, so I’m glad I went to have some male representation for him… and they struggled to cook (more to the point clean–ugh yuck!!) the barbie without me – Pip did a great job of catering though.
Van Morrison broke my heart when I discovered my first childhood love. Van Morrison broke my heart when I fundraised for the club. Van Morrison broke my heart when I’d waited for my girl. Van Morrison broke my heart when I reached my adulthood. Van Morrison brok my heart when I learned of “Crazy Love” However, Van Morrison broke my heart one last time.
I’d try to suppress my smile as his lyrics struck a chord.
He’d sing “sha la la la” – it was such a catchy tune
When he sung of the “Brown Eyed Girl” – I knew he sung of mine.
I played his tunes, I stole the hearts – and money – of our guests.
The boys and I then did him proud in Henley once we were done.
As we danced in the moonlight – and ’twas a fine and lovely sight!
I’d searched for a long time and then it was finally done.
His words rang clear for those days that were to be.
As for that time I had been looking for someone exactly like her.
Good friends, fun chats, nice food, great drinks! A way to spend it true!
He did me proud when my friend insist the pub’s piano man “won’t do”
They kicked him off and placed me on, Van Morrison pulled me through.
Sometimes you plan, those things work out; other times you fall in love.
But she had a fine sense of humour and I’d come to her when the sun goes down.
So things work out and that makes me smile, Van Morrison was right all the while.
My favourite song of his I played, sung and shared it with the world.
He broke my heart, he broke it hard but this time it really hurt.
His record company send me a copyright notice and told me where to run!
So that’s my lovely tribute to the message I got on YouTube from Van Morrison’s recording company:
Dear Member:
This is to notify you that we have removed or disabled access to the following material as a result of a third-party notification by VAN MORRISON / POLYDOR claiming that this material is infringing:
“Dancing In the Moonlight” – Van Morrison (piano acoustic): http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=aUDXWuXa6BYPlease Note: Repeated incidents of copyright infringement will result in the deletion of your account and all videos uploaded to that account. In order to prevent this from happening, please delete any videos to which you do not own the rights and refrain from uploading additional videos that infringe on the copyrights of others. For more information about YouTube’s copyright policy, please read the Copyright Tips guide.
Well, after yesterday’s post I’ve decided that I’m cool with life again, not so anxious and aprehensive… I guess we all have those days — don’t get me wrong, those are real feelings that have truth to them, but I am in control again and not just left feeling helpless 
Well, I’m back from down south and really enjoyed myself. It was great to be away and not thinking about anything for the weekend (belated sun/mon weekend) other than what board game to play or whether I should drink tea or coffee, red or white.
Coming back home, and plugging back into the world was daunting.
Being out of contact was surprisingly unnerving (as I was waiting on some answers) but relaxing at the same time.
Being away with a (relatively) completely new group of people was also great.
I love having good conversations! That was a lot of fun.
However, being back home I am aware of how big the real world is.
I am SO excited about going away that when I realise I still have 23 weeks to go, it kinda hits me. I can get down about how long is but also how relatively short it is considering how much I have to do in it.
I discovered I am very much an action person. Once I decide something, its no longer a possibility but a fact.
For example, each time I have realised that a relationship isn’t meant to be I have broken up at the first appropriate opportunity.
And its kinda like that about going to Canada, I just want to get over there!
Ahhh!
I have so many things I want to do in this life, no idea how I’m going to do them, which ones I will do, who I’m going to do them with or what timeframe it is going to be on… I guess that is life, but when you have that feeling inside (constrained chest, tight throat, raised heart rate, indecisiveness and unrest) it is very hard to just settle for “it’ll all work out”
I’ve always thought that I am a patient person, but sometimes I think I’m fooling myself – is that just ambition or impatience?
I just can’t wait to do all these things, the live them, experience them. To be done away with Uni, be qualified (Masters?), have some good traveling under my belt, get a good career, move back to the northern beaches, get married to an amazing person, become a father, more travel, more family gatherings, meeting new people, living life to the fullest and all the hardship and joys that I’ll have, that I’ll share in the process.
And I know this “in between time” is the most exciting of my life, this time where I will constantly be broke (financially), out of my depth, inconsistent with location and occupation, meeting new people, doing new things, going new places and that is all so exciting! But unnerving not knowing what, and having to wait for it to start (yes, I know it has started but I can’t wait for the next stage: a la leaving the great south land).
Most of the lyrics to this muse song really seem to sit with me at the moment…
“Hysteria” – Muse
it’s bugging me, grating me
and twisting me around
yeah i’m endlessly caving in
and turning inside out
’cause i want it now
i want it now
give me your heart and you soul
and i’m breaking out
i’m breaking out
last chance to lose control
it’s holding me, morphing me
and forcing me to strive
to be endlessly cold within
and dreaming i’m alive
’cause i want it now
i want it now
give me your heart and your soul
and i’m breaking down
i’m breaking out
last chance to lose control
and want you now
i want you now
i’ll feel my heart implode
and i’m breaking out
escaping now
feeling my faith erode
It’s annoying how you can be so sure of things, or at least contempt in your head but still have this underlying feeling of confusion, uncertainty or longing for something.
That’s pretty much me right now. And I don’t know why.
Sure. I could list a bunch of possibilities, but I don’t know why!
I’m not angry about it at all, just got this weird empty-kinda feeling.
In the space of 24 hours I have gone from 1st place in google to 7th thanks to some Gillingham soccer player!!
My traffic has also greatly reduced and I’m not sure if that’s all bad for my blog, but once the sites up and running it’ll be annoying as I’m thinking of moving all my web design work here!
Just changed updated my template, soon I’ll be fleshing out the site more and moving the blog to lukefreeman.com.au/blog or something to that effect. Then I’ll finish off redesigning it. But for now this is a bit more usable than the old site (which didn’t work well in IE6).
Let me know any ideas or suggestions… things you found cool on other sites, things you don’t want me to do etc
Thanks heaps!
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